A Great Great-Aunt

Once upon a time, about two years ago, I had a fantasy that we could somehow squeeze in a trip to a coastal California town--while we were visiting Phoenix--to see my husband's great-aunt. She is a lovely person in her mid-nineties, and I wanted my children to know her.

Well, yeah. That didn't happen. It would be just as far to drive from Phoenix (or here) to there as it was to drive to Phoenix. With five young children and a week, it just couldn't work.

So this year, I proposed we go see her.

My husband took my idea and ran with it. He calculated distances on MapQuest, checked out books and videos on San Francisco and Yosemite (because they're nearby, right?) and booked hotels. In nine days' time, we drove our van and five kids through eighteen California counties, and that's not counting what it took to get to and from the California border.

As soon as the trip-in-planning seemed like a reality, I emailed Paul's great-aunt and informed her we were finally able to come. Not having seen her for eight years, I wasn't sure what to expect. We didn't want to overwhelm her. So we invited her to lunch.

She emailed back that she was looking forward to it. We arranged to call her on the weekend. When Paul placed the call, I could tell that he was having a hard time getting her to understand who he was. Uh-oh, I thought. Finally, he said, "Yes, Janean's husband." That made me smile.

It turned out to only be a matter of a bad connection, however. She couldn't hear him well.

I still felt a little unsure about what to expect when we saw her. No one in my family has ever lived to the age she now is. However, when we pulled up to her center, she was standing next to the parking lot, waiting for us. Slim, radiant, made-up, and wearing an aqua-colored pant suit, she stood erect. She greeted us with warmth and wonderful manners. She was beautiful from her strawberry-blond hair to her nice shoes.

A good conversationalist, she paid attention to each one of us. She asked the children about their interests, their favorite subjects in school (she had been a school teacher), and their music lessons. She teasingly told the youngest that if he sat close to her, she might not be able to resist giving him a squeeze. And she gave him several.

She had arranged for her senior living center to serve us a lovely luncheon in a private dining room. The atmosphere and price could not have been beat.

After lunch, she showed us all around her center, including her beautifully-decorated apartment, the numerous flowers she is growing in various pots and baskets, the other buildings in her complex, the large room where she regularly plays the piano to accompany a chorus, her dining room, and the bridges she crosses on her walks. She introduced us to her director and some of her friends. Kindly, she announced each time, "This is my family, from Salt Lake."

Everything about her and her surroundings showed her care for herself, yet her conversation demonstrated interest in others. Her life still seems to be productive, inspirational, and challenging. She still uses her people skills and talents to make life meaningful for herself and others. One thing I noticed was how she ate. She saved her honeydew melon (an appetizer) to eat for dessert and didn't order a dessert (unlike the rest of us). She also ordered only a half-sandwich. She is probably only a hundred pounds--healthy for her petite size.

Her conversation was positive, thoughtful, and thought-provoking. She expressed happiness and gratitude.

I was right--the children warmed to her. It was rewarding to discuss with them later what a good example she is of living well and the important positive effects of good manners and thoughtful discrimination in choices.

It was a great and memorable trip for our family where we saw and did much. We had fun. Seeing Aunt Eleanor was, for me, the highlight. Lunch and a partial afternoon were not enough. Though she focused on us, I feel I have much to learn from her.

I hope we see her again.