But when I make a cake, I like to, you know, have a taste. Or two.
I kept reminding myself I couldn't. Like, it was a sacred duty not to touch it.
It made me think of other things that I might want
to do but cannot because it is not the right time. And of how hard it
can be at times to curb our impulses. And of how we sometimes work to
create something that we hope to enjoy later, but cannot enjoy at the
time.
I thought about building relationships, planting
gardens, sewing a dress, storing up a retirement fund, myriad things. I
thought about gardens planted for others to harvest. Blessings stacked
up in heaven while we make sacrifices on earth.
All with the do-not-touch-that's-for-later- not-now mentality.
It
seems hard at the time to put off gratification, to toil without
reward. But I knew that, after our simple dinner, after fasting all
day, we would be very glad for the treat I was preparing. Even though
the time for this particular "reward" was only a few hours away, it seemed hard to "not touch" in the
moment. Yet, if I didn't create the cake then, during the hours I was
fasting, I would certainly not be able to enjoy it when it was time to
have it. If I made the cake after I stopped fasting, I would have to wait more hours to have it.
And
I thought, "This cake will taste sweeter to me because I made it while
fasting, and because, when I am ready to eat, it will be ready, too."
This morning when I had a hard minute at the gym, I knew in my head that I would be
finished in 26 more minutes, and that I'd feel good about my workout
when I got finished. . . if I finished. And not so good about it if I didn't. It helped me persist.
What current struggles are you making that you know will pay off in the end?