Honesty Is next to Cleanliness?

So, usually when you are walking on the treadmill and someone is walking next to you, you don't look over at them at all, right? At least not at the same time as they are peeking at you to see if your workout clothes are too goofy or whatever. It's kind of weird, really, that we don't talk. But we all like our privacy. Just because we happen to be exercising in tandem with a stranger doesn't mean we have to make friends. But, today, I was stuck for an hour-and-a-half next to someone who did chat at me.

That didn't bug me half as much as what she said.

It's now come to my attention that, just as people have different cleanliness comfort levels, people have different honesty comfort levels.

You know, when it's recommended that people "shower regularly," everyone nods in their own head, whether they shower and wash their hair every day, or think they are only in need after they sweat, or are on a once-a-week schedule. Pretty much everyone thinks they shower regularly--even the one across the table from you whose hair is making you feel a little sick.

Working with people from other countries has helped me realize that many people apparently think Americans are wasteful to wear a whole new outfit every day.

And perhaps we are.

But, it's our comfort level.

So, this girl on the treadmill next to me starts to tell me how she plans to cheat her company before she quits her job. Because, of course, her flight benefits expire "the minute" she quits, so she needs to take a flight to see her folks during the leave of absence she has just arranged and before she quits. Then, before her leave of absence ends, she'll mention that she's giving notice.

"Is that honest?" I asked her.

"I think so," she said. "Because I'm not for one hundred percent sure that I'm going to quit." Then, she proceeds to tell me that she is going to definitely quit before they pay for new training for her, which is scheduled for right after her leave of absence, because "the training is very expensive" and she would not feel comfortable with them spending that money on her when she's planning to quit. "I'm not that kind of person." Yes, I realize the airplane is going to fly to New York with or without her, anyway, but, to me, that is not the point.

I thought about getting off the treadmill before I'd planned, but the treadmill is the only piece of equipment my doctors are allowing me to use right now, and I really wanted to put more time in. I thought about going to another treadmill, but they are all in a line, and she would "for one hundred percent sure" see me do it, so I thought that might be a little too obvious.

I didn't want to be mean to this girl; I just didn't want to hear all about her plans. Especially when she gushed about how nice and caring her supervisor that she's about to take advantage of is.

I once dated a guy who felt guilty if he used some of the ink in a pen from work for a personal matter. People steal pens from work left and right without even realizing it, but he couldn't even "borrow" enough ink to sign his name. Yet, I discovered that he was deceptive in our relationship. When I met his family, they all sat and stared and stared at me. It was like they were all thinking, "I wonder if she knows about. . . ?" Some woman? Some crime? His orientation? I'd still like to know what that was about. I guess my feelings and well-being were less important than a blob of ink.

I guess honesty can be as relative as cleanliness. Even I, who would never tell a lie to anyone else, tell myself numerous lies about the treats I want to eat.

And back to cleanliness--I know that people who look normal walking down the street vary widely from those who have to wash their clothing every night lest something happen to them and the neighbors discover a dirty item of clothing in their house to hoarders who have sixteen pets they don't clean up after. There are people who live in a mess but can't touch a wastebasket lid. People who think nothing of licking their fingers as they pass out their birthday cake.

We all have different cleanliness comfort levels--that's a given. To some extent, it's what we were raised with in our families, but, to perhaps a greater extent, we choose it. It hadn't occurred to me before that it's the same with the junk we sort and file, whitewash, keep or discard, or wear every day in our minds.