We're All Queens!

So, I went to the store to buy my daughter some new pantyhose. Turns out, all of her pantyhose and tights had developed holes at the same time. There must have been some kind of horrible epidemic in her top drawer. It's the only explanation I can find. Her explanation consisted of a shrug, so that's all I've got.

Actually, I went to more than one store. I went to several stores to try to replace my daughter's pantyhose and tights. See, she's twelve. And barely over 100 pounds.

And every time I went over to the pantyhose/tights rack/wall in each store and started looking for tights for her, one-third of them were size B, and at least two-thirds of them were size Q. All I was looking for was a nude size A. Is that too much to ask?!

Or a black. Or a white.

IF and WHEN (they were rare) I saw an A, it was always "Suntan," which is a horrible color to put on a skinny twelve-year-old girl. When I searched through the rows for a "Nude," it always said Q, or, less often, B. I looked at the back of the package. No, B would still definitely be too big for her.

Every store I went to was like this--a sea of Q's and hardly any A's.

So there I had it--the big question. What in the world is happening to us? Are we all so fat that they don't even bother to stock size A hose anymore? They think a token "Suntan" will appease us? And then I thought, "This is probably what it was like for people who needed Q's twenty years ago--some paltry token offering they could take or leave." But now so many of us are Q's that they hardly bother to get anything else?

We've turned into the movie Wall-E! We're all Q's! The human race has mutated into something else!

I admit I am bigger than I was twenty years ago. I am not, however, a Q. I work hard to not be a Q, thank you very much. But I am concerned about the trend.

I remember humans when most adults were thin. When middle-aged women could still be slim. We had only one fat teacher in our elementary school. And I remember that her girth was truly shocking to me. Wouldn't it be nice if we could go back to that again?

Do we really want to change as a species? Does this alarm anyone else? I think we should fight it. I think we should remember that human beings were designed to carry their water into their homes. Thank goodness we don't have to do that anymore. I like to use a lot more water than I could ever carry. But we need to replace that activity with something else that strengthens our core muscles. We need to burn some energy while preparing the food we eat.

Nowadays, it's possible to practically live our lives as if we are on conveyor belts--we can practically slide into our cars; ride in them to a drive-through, order a big bunch of fat, carbs, and salt; and shovel it in without burning a single calorie. Then we ride to our office, slide up to our desks at work, put in our time, and slide and ride back to our couches and beds.

How many of us take the stairs at work? Go for a walk during the day? Or might we as well be on hover seats one hundred percent of the time like the people in Wall-E? What's next? Drinking all our food so we don't even need to bother to chew?

Let's move it, people! Let's preserve our species as a beautiful, healthy one! Let's show our children what adults should live and look like! Let's not lose our bones, nor our need for them.

The list of health problems obesity causes or at least contributes to is heart-breaking. And it is so preventable.

There was an article in the paper this week by a doctor that I want to echo. He said that if you won't watch what you eat and exercise for yourself, do it for the people whose lives depend on you. Or if not for them, for the sake of the whole human race.

Another columnist this week wrote that she has gone back to shoveling snow rather than using her snow blower, just so she is expending some energy. Yes! I like her thinking! We need to make sure we are expending some energy. Let's stay alive and useful! Even I caught myself this week choosing not to be interested in my Christmas nuts because I would have to--gasp!--crack the shells. How lazy is that?

Come on--we can do this! Not that we can or should all be size A, for heaven's sake, but there should be a similar demand for it in America as there is for Q!