The way I heard the story, seventy-six years ago today, my great-grandma was sitting at the kitchen table, eating her breakfast, when suddenly, thud! She fell off her chair sideways and that was that.
Her father had done nearly the same thing thirty-five years earlier. He had walked off a train in Los Angeles at Christmas time, and dropped dead.
Dropping dead is a serious matter.
I mean, people jokingly say, "Drop dead," but if you did it, I bet they would be surprised.
My grandma on the other side of the family died quietly in her chair without a peep. My parents both expired quickly from apparent heart attacks. Also, a sister.
People have told me that they were lucky to go that way.
It doesn't feel so good to be the one left going, "Whuuuuuu?"
If this is going to happen to me, I hope it's a long way off. I think I wouldn't mind if I were a very old lady, and had finally written all the books I have in my head. And published the one I've had waiting a long time.
And if my house were clean.
I guess when I reach a certain age, I'll have to make sure before I leave the house every single time that every single dish is washed and every single paper is in order. That my table is wiped and my floor is swept.
I know you probably think I already do this.
But I'm not ready to die yet. So, I leave a little something undone here and there for insurance. Yeah, that's it.
I actually know a woman who washes all of the clothes she was wearing that day every single day of her life, because when she was at a very impressionable age, she heard stories about a woman in the neighborhood who died unexpectedly. The gossip must have been horrible. It seems to have scarred this woman for life.
I mean, I figure if what I wore during that week is in the hamper, who cares if it's dirty? I don't wear enough clothes in a day to make a dark load and a light load, and I can't see lumping them all together in one load. To me, that would be gross.
Maybe I wouldn't mind going that fast if I'd said goodbye to all my children, and I knew for sure that none of them still needed me. Actually, this one could be pretty tricky. They may get to the point where they don't need me, but I sure can't conceive of ever being done with any of them.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm not sure we ever get to the point that we don't need our mothers. Watching my mom lose her mother 6 years ago, I can't believe how many things have come up that we needed her for. Although, I guess we do get to a point where we are independent in our day-to-day lives. That's my worst fear about death - leaving my children. Hope it doesn't happen for a long time for both of us!
ReplyDeleteHaving watched one grandmother have dementia for about ten years and not know who anyone was while having to be in a wheelchair to battling cancer, and the other grandmother battle cancer for a few years. And having my grandfathers die suddenly, i would say it is easy when they go suddenly instead of lingering for awhile. the initial shock of them being gone is greater when they go suddenly, however when my grandmothers passed away in some ways i felt relieved, because i knew they were so very sick, and had been in a lot of pain and emotional anguish from not being able to do what they wanted to do. It literally got to the point that every time the phone rang i would think did one of them die? Also seeing them go from taking care of themselves to needing help as if they were babies, was very difficult. I also witnessed the stress these long illnesses caused my mom and dad and Aunts and uncles as they tried their best to not only care for their family but their parents as well. my parents lived the closest to both set of grandparents. my dads lived next to us and my moms lived about 45 minute drive away. Where as i hope both Janean and Megan live a long time, I also hope you do not have to have these long lingering illnesses that so very slowly takes you away.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a Dolly Parton interview where she revealed she sleeps with full makeup on in case the dwelling caught on fire and she had to flee quickly. If I drop dead I would want someone to pull my skirt down if it flew over my head, and tug at the corners of my mouth so it looked like I went happy. :)
ReplyDelete