Longing for a Do-Over

Have you ever said something completely stupid?  Something you wished you could take back, even as it came out of your mouth?

Or made a bad choice that you regret?

Weren't there for someone you loved when they needed you?

Told a child you were too busy for him at that time?

Sometimes, we miss an opportunity.  Or throw it away with both hands.  Out of carelessness, or weariness, or anger, or fear.

Honestly, I've tried my whole life to be good--and I'm sure I avoided many pitfalls this way, but some of my nights are ripped apart by regrets.  There are tears, memories, learning, and prayers, but not sleep.

In frustration, I have said words that I never meant.  I have lost my head in anger.  I have put off things until they were no longer options.

I have hurt someone who fills up so much of my heart that I fear I have mortally wounded myself.

I listened to conference talks this past weekend.  I listened to one talk while on my back, in bed, silently weeping, wiping tears off my face so they wouldn't roll into my ears.

The talk was about the apostle Peter.  I feel for Peter.  Peter, after all, said the words that he didn't know his best friend, Lord, and Savior.  When He needed him most.  And he said this not once, like the worst statement I ever made, but three times.

Then he went out and wept.  Bitterly.

I have my own bitter tears.  I wish Peter had never said those things almost as much as he must have.  I wish I never said some things, too.  So I know.

The talk I listened to was about Peter, but not about that moment in his life.  I brought that moment into the talk myself.  The talk was about another time when Peter saw the Lord, and the Lord asked Peter whether or not he loved Him.

And Peter said, he did.  Of course he did.  Even, Thou knowest that I love Thee.  What most people get out of this scripture story is that the Lord emphasized to Peter that He needed him to do His work--feed his lambs and sheep.

That is what I've always gotten out of it, too.  It's an important point.

But what struck me this time was that the Lord asked him three times. 

Three times, He gave Peter the opportunity to repeal his prior, regretable statement.  He gave him the opportunity to heal his error, one time for each time he had made it.

Maybe the Lord showed a tender mercy to Peter that day, letting him have do-overs.

It's just a tiny part of the larger story, but, to me, it's huge.