Talking to Myself. . .on the Phone

We all know people who end phone calls quickly.  Maybe too quickly.  And we all know people that trying to hang up with is like trying to extract arms and legs from quicksand.

Some people don't like to talk on the phone, or have mastered a business-only approach.  Some people love to talk, on and on and on.

For these people, we learn to develop strategies.

There are people who only need one "Well, okay, then, I'll see you later," and relationships where it takes four or five of those to make it stick.

These days, we have options.  We can avoid calling people by emailing or texting them instead.  It's hard to be really long-winded on a text.

But, how many of us have good end-the-conversation skills when talking to ourselves?

Several years ago, I had a lead worker who taught me a lot about how to do my job.  She also taught me a lot about being gracious, warm toward people, and at my best.

One thing she taught me was how to leave messages for myself at work to remind me of  things I needed to take care of. 

Let's face it: when you are a working mom, you spend most of your alert hours at work.  It was easier to schedule doctor appointments or run errands on my breaks or lunch hours than it was to try to remember to do these things after getting home and immersing myself in my children's needs again.  

And, while we're at it, let's face another fact: we think of things at the wrong moments--the middle of the night, while in the shower, or while driving from one place to another.  

Technology has given us myriad ways to tend to these issues, and it has advanced exponentially since the time I started working with this lead, but what she would do is call her work phone and leave herself a voice mail message.  She knew that she would absolutely without fail be answering her voice mail messages several times a day at work, and that she would be alert during business hours then, so this worked for her.

I tried it myself, and still do it sometimes.

I remember her describing how, when she thought of something in the middle of the night, she would grab her home phone and dial her work number, then whisper her message to herself quietly so as not to wake her husband.  Then, she said, when she would get to work, she would not be able to hear her message, and she would wonder, "Who on earth called me at 2:12 this morning!?"  

My issue when I started doing this was that I did not know how to say goodbye to myself.  Now, I've got down how to say, "Call Dr. Anderson" and then hang up.  But, at first, I was not used to calling myself on the phone.  I would say hello, then leave my message, then stumble over how to say goodbye to myself.  "So, okay, well, I'll see you later!" I might tell myself.  Then redden as I listened to that the next day.  Or, "Take care!  Bye-bye!"  

 

It is, of course, totally unnecessary to say all these pleasantries to yourself, but I was in the habit of saying them to others.  I don't think I ever went so far as to say, "Love you!  Bye!"  But I may have come close.