This put her in an awkward position.
It
is nice to receive flowers at work when it's your birthday,
anniversary, or Valentine's Day. I have been such a recipient, and it
can be fun to be all, "Yes, there is someone who cares about me enough
to do this."
But, what if the flowers are an apology for bad
behavior? A make-up request after a fight? A ploy to manipulate? What
is a girl to do? Say, "No, it's not my
birthday--my boyfriend cheated on me and thinks this will
fix everything"?
I think not.
My friend and I
agreed that there should be some rules established about when it's okay
to send flowers to work. Mostly, we decided, it should be when the
occasion is positive, or at least neutral.
I once rejected flowers delivered to my home because
they had been sent by a psycho who was trying to get me back. He had
tried to control what I wore and read. He had tried to isolate me from
my friends. In casting aspersions upon my faultless father, he had
tried to isolate me from my family. In casting aspersions upon my
spiritual leader, he had tried to isolate me from my support system. He
was moving in psychologically on taking over my home and my
children.
It was over, in no uncertain terms, and he had been clearly told that. Gifts had been returned. Conversation had ended.
I
am glad that big box of flowers had not been delivered to my place of
employment, because I did not feel just throwing them away would
suffice, although that, in and of itself, would surely have made a scene
memorable to co-workers.
No. I called the company and asked them to pick up
the flowers and notify the sender that they had been rejected. He had
started following me, and I wanted him, not just my wastebasket, to know
that his advances were not at all welcome. That I was not going to be
bought. That my head was never going to turn in his direction again.
Another time, I received apology flowers from
someone who had called me a bad name. Although the roses were firm and
fragrant--lovely in every way, every one of them repeated that word to
me whenever I looked at them. So, they probably did not have their
intended effect.
It can be tricky, knowing when to send and when to
receive. A friend once talked me into giving a man another chance based
on the expense of the two dozen long-stemmed red roses he'd sent from a
high-end florist one Valentine's Day. The second chance, it turned
out, was a bad idea.
My favorite time receiving flowers was when we had
just moved to a new house we could barely afford and, on top of that, I
had just had a baby. My husband brought me an armful of lovely white
flowers while saying these words: "Don't worry--they were really cheap."
That sums up both halves of marriage, doesn't it? Romance meets
Reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment