"I Give Myself Very Good Advice, but I Very Rarely Follow It"

When I got out of the shower, I found my husband had come into the bathroom.

"You can look at all of me except three pounds," I said.

The three pounds could be a fluctuation. Given how I've eaten the past two weeks, though, I doubt it.

Which brings me to my question for the day: Why is it so much harder to exercise when you've eaten more than you should, and why is it so much harder to not eat what you shouldn't when you didn't exercise?

In a rational world, getting in only a partial workout should inspire one to cut back on eating. But it doesn't. In some mystical way, getting in only a partial workout makes you think, "Oh, it's okay if I have this donut. I didn't do my full workout, anyway." Which makes NO SENSE.

And eating a donut makes one think, "I'll just do 20 minutes today," which is the complete converse of what you should think when you eat a donut. How about doing 20 minutes more than you usually do? Why don't we think that way?

I think it's because a) compulsive eaters don't think rationally about food--that's why we have a compulsion; b) unless you grew up working out every day and loved it, it's hard to maintain that program. The more rigorous your program is, the harder it probably is to maintain. So, once you let a piece of your program slip, it's very easy to think that you might as well give it all up. Yes, there are benefits to a workout program, but when we get used to them, it's hard to see them clearly. Once we are comfortable in our skin, it's hard to remember how utterly, utterly miserable we were fat.

At least, I was. I hated being fat. I hated not fitting into my clothes. I hated going places and having people see me fat. I hated feeling fat. I hated huffing up the stairs, struggling to stand up from deep couches and the floor, not having energy.

I never want to go back there.

But. Do I ever want to be able to enjoy donuts again? Yes. Chocolate cake? Cookies? Pie? Christmas candy? Yes, yes, yes, yes!

So I have to strike a balance. And my sweet tooth gives me a heavy disadvantage to maintaining that balance.

During the past two weeks, while my eating has been, shall we say, larger than average, I've increased my workouts, too. I already do quite vigorous workouts daily, but I forced myself to burn an extra 500 calories this week. My run this morning was harder than usual. But at least I didn't cave in to thinking the opposite way I should and decrease my workouts. What I really need to do is reign back my eating again. Moderation, moderation, moderation.

There is a weight loss columnist who has not yet hit on the concept of moderation. He will sign up for marathons and triathlons, lose 100 or more pounds, and wow us all with his feats, then go on months-long binges and gain 80 pounds back.

When I read his column, I think, Dude! I wish he would get some counseling and figure this out. Most of us fluctuate, yes, but within 15 or 20 pounds.

He hasn't asked me for advice, and I doubt he ever will. But I'll give myself and you who read me what I think is good advice. He needs to stop setting superhero goals and just set a goal to reach moderation. He doesn't need to be Ironman. If he could only achieve moderate eating habits and moderate exercise habits, day after day after day, consistently, he would probably stay at a reasonable weight.

We all would.

Now, if only I can be unlike Alice in Wonderland and keep my own good advice!

We have to keep our heads and keep thinking correctly about our eating and exercising. We have to make sure we stay as consistent as possible. Through sheer physical force, if necessary. When I had run only 2.8 miles this morning, I really wanted to quit. I could remember times in the past when nearly 3 miles was a really acceptable workout. Yes, I reminded myself, but I was fat then, and I wasn't really losing weight. I reminded myself that I don't want to lose my skill for running 10 miles every week. I don't want to lose any of the progress that I have made. I don't want to gain that weight back.

And then, the clincher (try this--it works every time): would I want to have to only eat 28 percent of what I should eat today? I try to imagine shoving 72% of my food aside--having only half a boiled egg with a quarter cup of milk for breakfast--and I keep running.